Smart and Beautiful

I have performance anxiety when it comes to passionate intimacy because of the 15 minutes on Sunday which made up my marriage.

When you know that you have a very limited time and you know that there’s not going to be any support for yourself in the process, an incredible amount of anxiety is created.

Unfortunately, I have carried this anxiety with me to other situations in my life, both professional and personal.

The anxiety enters into how I judge myself worthy. Anxiety over worth pushes at how I feel about the shape of my body and the contents of my mind.

However, with recent experience, I have been able to shift the story I tell myself about what I must do and how I must do it.

I no longer buy into a narrative of being unworthy.

Instead, I find myself able to see my beauty and my intelligence.

I’m hopeful that this will help me open myself on a deeper level to the powerful experiences that are available to me with the people in my life.

However, from first-hand experience, I know it’s difficult for women to be both beautiful and smart.

When dealing with the hatred and bigotry aimed at those who are smart and good-looking, women become strong.

Which – in my mind – all women are smart and beautiful.

All women become strong. Strength grows in part from the defense one must maintain against the very real threat to diminish, disempower, and belittle.

To be beautiful and smart is to be aware of the amazing inner balance between who you are physically and who you are spiritually.

Women often do not understand this about their strength, mistakenly believing strength must come from an aggressive place.

When one is able to see the misperception of strength is driven by fear, then choice is not pushed to be either offensive or defensive, aggressive or submissive.

Freed to make a different choice, focus shifts to the balance of who you are within the intrinsic and essential nature of you.

You find within the balance your true strength.

When I am able to find the strength of me from this balance, then not only I am happier, I feel a sense of self-sufficiency which does not push me to live my life to prove my worth nor defend myself.

Anxiety abates. In sacred relationship, I am free to look for a man who sees me in response to the deepest levels of balance within him and me.

With this view, the relationship has the opportunity to explore beyond the boundaries set by social convention about how men and women must behave and interact with one another.

We can move beyond the limits of social and personal story of limited worthiness creating an arena for love and mutual respect.

In the deepest sense, the sacred nature of relationship is not perfect action by perfected beings.

Instead, the depth of relationship comes from the strength found within an inner balance shared with another.

Identifying and living from this strength is both smart and beautiful.


Sacred Sexuality is Sacred Hot – that ability to entwine the sensual and the spiritual within relationship.

For more articles exploring the celestial and the intimate check out more articles in this section of my website: Sacred Sexuality.